Spinster Reads – June 04/12

Happy Monday!

And before I go any further, let me say this. I have noticed many of you cannot tell the difference between a “hangdown” and “hangover.” Allow me to clarify:-

#KOT for the last time, it is not 'HANGDOWN' it's HANGOVER! Hangdowns are extremely fat, distended vagina lips. Do you have that?—
  (@Nittzsah) June 04, 2012

Back to the blog.

Being the month when we celebrate fathers, it’s only right that we focus on Fatherhood. Fatherhood in relation to Spinsterhood, of course. By the way to understand the changes on this blog, see the blog monthly updates here.

So as you work on surgically removing your hangdown or nursing your hangover, here are 5 links worth checking out:-

http://www.positive-personal-growth.com/brother-doesnt-want-to-get-married.html

http://en.allexperts.com/q/General-Dating-Questions-847/2012/5/parents-want-married-traveling.htm

http://thesearchforwisdom.blogspot.com/2007/12/modern-spinster.html

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6563961-declaring-spinsterhood

BONUS READ ( Spinster Letters )

My parents see me as a failure because I’ve never married and I’m a 41 year old virgin. I didn’t plan on my life turning out this way. It’s my choice to not marry. I rather not marry anyone if I have to give up all the things I find important. Twice I was asked to get married but both of them wanted me to move away from ailing parents and a business I worked very hard to start. My parents have a son who have a family to take care of so I can’t go running off leaving my parents to fend for themselves. One man told me that’s why I’m a old maid because I didn’t want to live away from my parents. Both men only wanted me as their wives to take care of their children from other relationships. I don’t mind children but they take up alot of time, my time if the men had their way. I know to other people I’m an old maid but to me I’m a successful business women. Successful because I don’t mind being happy by myself, I don’t mind working for what I want. I guess deep down I don’t want a husband because I’ve turned two men away and don’t regret it. I’m having the best time in my life. I know what it means to be in my prime. - Doris 41, owner of dog grooming shop. 

Preacher daughters weren’t supposed to be spinsters so I can relate to those women in the book Leather Spinsters whose families were embarassed by them. My father a baptist minister in Louisiana excludes me from certain functions because he could no longer make up any excuses on my behalf on why I don’t have a husband at my age. Deep down I think he thinks I’m gay which I’m not. 

Now he sees me as a used up 45 year old menopausal woman who will need her family to take care of her in her old age. I don’t think my father will ever see me any different than that description. Of all of my accomplishments he will never see me as anything else but an unwanted woman.I’m an accountant with an office of 20 employees, president of a local business women association, volunteer accountant for two non-profit organizations, and a adoptive mother of three. And yet my father can’t see my contributions to society he can only see that I didn’t get married.

I don’t understand how a entire community of people can focus so narrowly on life and what it may mean to them. A woman can be all that she want to be without being someone’s wife. I’m used to my father’s rejection of my choosing to live without a husband but he isn’t. He’s from the old school that says God made women for specific purposes, wifely duties and motherhood are those purposes. I don’t buy that and didn’t buy it as a stubborn child and I won’t perpetuate that myth to my children.

I had to learn to live without family (blood) support and acknowledgement for so long it don’t hurt anymore. So when I hear women cry about feeling alone I can relate, I use to feel alone until I discovered that there were other leather spinsters. Now I have another family that accepts me and my adoptive children with real love. I’m thankful for God bringing these women into my life at a time when I really needed them. Gloria 45, Accountant.

Leather Spinsters Newsletter Volume No. 1 Issue No. 4 January 99 – http://leatherspinsters.com/january99.html

Happy Mother’s Day.., to the ‘Special’ Moms

As I promised yesterday, here’s that Mother’s Day special poem.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms still housing their 30 year old sons.Don’t worry, there’s no clear indication in the Bible when Jesus moved out of his parent’s home.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms in abusive marriages. You make a great role model for your daughter.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who are ‘married’ to their sons. Why don’t you go ahead and formalize it. Someone did.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who give their children EVERYTHING they ask for. The world could use some more spoiled brats to shoot in the head.

Happy Mother’s Day to the the moms struggling to be ‘perfect’ moms. There’s no such thing, but keep kidding yourself.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms that abandoned their children. Now society gets to make very difficult choices (not obvious ones).

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms that claim they got pregnant by accident yet they didn’t use protection. I never met a soldier who went to war without his amour.

AND FINALLY…,

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms that got pregnant just so they can get married. First someone came up with the mouse trap and then you invented the man trap.

Marriage over Motherhood

This Sunday we celebrate our mamas their mamas and their mama’s mama. That means we must celebrate our first mama – Eve. She who out of boredom (not hunger), munched on the forbidden fruit, making sure that for women to be called mama, they must give birth in pain, sweat, blood and tears. WE LOVE YOU EVE!!

But this being the spinster’s blog, I wish to reflect on some interesting aspects of motherhood vis a vis marriage. Allow me to share a story.

Some years ago, my mother hired the services of a house help. She was a good lady, hard working and respectful. We got along just well and whenever I was home, we would strike up a conversation. It was during one of those conversations that I learned she had a daughter from a previous relationship.

See, I always knew she had two sons since she would sometimes come with them to work. But then she revealed she had a 7 year old daughter who lived upcountry with her grandmother. I asked our help why she didn’t talk much about her daughter and why she couldn’t bring her to Nairobi so they can live together. But she said she couldn’t. Apparently, when she came to Nairobi and met her current husband (the father of the two boys), she never told him that she had a daughter. She figured that if she told him, he would leave her and she would never get married (she always wanted to get married.) So she sacrificed a normal relationship with her daughter to become.., a wife.., and a mother to a different set of children.

I am sure she isn’t the only one. You may have heard of women who have done the the same thing. Mothers who chose marriage over their own children. Mothers who hide their own flesh and blood to be recognized by society as wives. And the relationship these women have with their children is kept alive by a phone call and an M-PESA transaction.

Which takes me back to the question this blog seeks to answer. How important is marriage? How big a deal is it that children should become victims of a unholy union rather than the fruits of it? Our house help may justify that it was the only way to give her daughter “a better life”. But how is she different from that female CEO who spends her life in the office,  has little time for her children, working hard to give them “a better life”?

I know there’s nothing like a perfect mother. I just often think that motherhood is best practiced in close proximity to the child, especially in the child’s younger years. Many women say there’s nothing more fulfilling in this world than being a mother. But beyond the cliche the reality seems to be different.

So pray do tell, which one ranks higher on the scale – marriage or motherhood?

NB: If you’re a fan of my poor attempt at poetry, look out for a Mother’s Day Special tomorrow. I promise, it will be as pathetic as the last.

ION: You can look forward to a similar post in June titled “So You Want to Celebrate Father’s Day?”

Happy 1st Anniversary!

It’s my blog’s birthday!

Belated actually. She turned one on Sunday and I totally forgot about it. I guess if I was a guy, I’d make a bad husband too. But let me get straight to the speech.

It’s been awesome really. And as with all undertakings in my life, I’ve learned more than I have shared. But isn’t that the point? Because really, who says I am an authority in the subject of spinsterhood?

When you think about it, it’s your contributions and comments that make the blog what it is. That continuous discourse (and fights) we have are the very life of this blog. And even those who read and walk away to ponder, share, retweet my links or simply like the posts have been a continuous encouragement. To those who go further to reblog my posts or mention me in their various blogs, I’m certainly humbled.

It isn’t easy juggling this blog, another and an 8 to 5 (to sometimes midnight ) job that requires me to write 14.5 times more. There are days I ask myself, what was I thinking starting SS? And at that very moment when I go silent and concentrate on my day job at @nyakeruw shouts from the TL “Blog Woman. BLOG!!” Another source of encouragement.

It’s never about a lack of content. There’s always content no matter the subject. The task sometimes has been how to be original, rational (.., and funny) about such a sensitive subject as marriage and spinsterhood (without any experience in either). My drafts are good evidence of this conflict. If any of you bloggers out there have more drafts than published posts then you know what I mean.

Moving forward, and taking all these experiences in mind there are a number of changes that I’ll introduce in due time. Nothing fancy, but certainly provocative.

For now though.., raise your glasses with me!

Go Ahead With the Hunger Strike, and Please Consider Boycotting Sex Too

Bet you have heard that Kenyan men intend to boycott their wives meals to protest the recent spate of husband battery. I thought the shame and embarrassment of the battery cases would end after #NyeriTVShows trended at no.1 worldwide. But no, now there’s a hunger strike in the offing. I’ve said time and again, that I doubt Nderitu Njoka’s professional capacity to handle the sensitive issue that is domestic violence. His utterances seem to rile women more than help calm them down.

“It is not an issue of poverty any more. It is about women supremacy as they want to dominate men.” – DN 10/2/210

…, Njoka blamed empowerment funds given to women by the government for the increase in the trend adding that men should also be financially empowered.  - diasporamessenger.com 20/2/2012

Are Mr. Njoka’s comments informed by scientific research or by general male paranoia which has found its way to the airwaves? Has Mr. Njoka bothered to sit with some of these female batterers and ask them why they felt they had to result to violence?

Mr. Njoka may want to play the hero here, whisking away the males in distress. But if he cannot eventually bring married couples together to discuss their marital woes, his good intentions may soon come under criticism, much like our vice president’s intentions have.

If anything, this hunger strike seems like one among many theatrics Nderitu Njoka keeps pulling from his magic hat. What exactly is this strike meant to achieve? I get the means (demonstrate against husband battery by failing to eat wife’s food) but what is the end?

Pose for a minute and ask yourself: If this man’s wife went ahead to slash his face so mercilessly, does she seem like someone who would be concerned as to whether her husband has eaten or not? Had she killed this man (if murder was her intention), wouldn’t the ration of food she prepares be less one plate if he were dead?

Pose again and ask yourself: When a wife or any woman wishes to silently demonstrate against her partner’s misdeeds, what does she do? She withdraws. She becomes silent, doesn’t want to spend time with him and refuses to have sexual intercourse let alone be touched. She’ll probably fail to serve him any meals or fail to cook at all. So dear members of Maendeleo ya Wamaume, by failing to eat your angry wives meals, aren’t you saving her the trouble of cooking for you? Has it crossed your mind, that she’s probably thought of poisoning your food too? It’s happened, no?

And before you swallow hard, think about this: How many times have you come home at 2am in the night, belly full, smelling of nyama choma and proceeded to get into bed? Do you know how many women are super excited when you don’t have to wake them up to heat your food? Do you? Oh, do you? That right there is a moment to praise the good lawd! She doesn’t have to get her poor feet all cold, running around the kitchen or sitting with you at the table watching you as you gulp down her good cooking. But at the same time, she will probably be angry that she took the time to make you a meal and you didn’t bother to even ask about it. She’ll want to know which other woman has been feeding you. A question, if not well answered or answered at all, will probably see your face appear on the newspaper.

Finally: If you are the kind of man who abdicated your bread-winning role to your wife, wouldn’t it be silly to then boycott the food that you didn’t even bother to put on the table?

“Whoever refuses to work is not allowed to eat” – 2 Thessalonians 3:10 (GNB)

“But if a man makes no provision for those dependent on him, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is behaving worse than an unbeliever.” – 1 Timothy 5:8

Nderitu Njoka aside, marriage is between two people. Society may advice them on what society thinks is right but it is up to them to decide how best to conduct their marriage. For instance, society may advice a couple against anal sex, while the heterosexual couple actually draw so much pleasure from the act. So dear men, just go home and talk to your wives. Stop talking to them through other channels. Just swallow your pride and your pre-conceived, sexist theories of male supremacy. Calmly reason with your wives, and find a long term solution to your marital problems. And remember, no two marriages are alike. Only you two can decide what your marriage is like and stand by it. Then again, if all else fails, who has stopped you from sending your wife away?

End the Domestic Violence in Nyeri, But Don’t Kill the Resolve

I’ve tried to steer clear from blogging about  the recent domestic violence (okay, husband battery) going on in Central Kenya. Reason being, I feel that there are several gaps in the stories aired in the media. I accept that it is happening. I also believe that violence, in any form, no matter who is meting it, for whatever reason, is unacceptable. Also, and very important, I an not a marriage expert or counselor. Clearly..,

Then again, I can’t help but see some silver lining in all this drama. Some sort of revolutionary thinking among the perpetrators – these women of Central Kenya who have gone against the grain and challenged social order and shaken the cultural humdrum that society gets comfortable in.

In my little understanding, from the perpetrator’s point of view and shamelessly assuming that the problem lies with the maimed men (as the women claim), I’d break down the issue into two.

1. Something is wrong/unsettling.

(eg My husband’s  - drunkenness, lack of provision, unfaithfulness, sexual non performance etc )

2. Something needs to be done to correct it.

(My options – e.g speak with him, speak with my mother in law, speak to pastor, pray, walk out of the marriage, omba serekali, commit suicide, harm my husband, kill him)

Now, we may agree on point number one.  Where we will hurl the first stone at each other is on point number two. Yes there could be is a problem; the attempt at correcting it is what has got the nation’s attention.

Did it have to get to this point? Was it necessary? I can’t answer that. But I choose to look beyond the violence and marvel at this woman and how far she’s come.

This woman who we initially dismissed as not knowing what she wanted. The one who had everything dictated to her – when she got married, when she gave birth,  when she stopped giving birth, when she should speak, when she should go to bed, when she should have sex, whether she should ask for it – is no longer a passive participant in marriage. This woman who never questioned authority another man, has come full circle. This African woman, no matter her level of poverty, education or influence,  has come to the realization that there’s a significant difference between marriage and servitude – and these can easily get obscured in such concepts as love and submissiveness.

Surely, how can this “aware woman” be a bad thing?

Like I stated in a recent blog post “the good book says that “he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22). As to what a wife finds and what she obtains from the Lord, the good book is not very loud on that.

Initially, women had no say as to what she expected of her husband. I’m glad however, that there has a emerged a woman who knows what she wants and is willing to stand up and unfortunately be imprisoned for it. A woman who is clear that she not only wants a husband, but that she wants a clean, sober, faithful man, capable of providing for his family (as much as she has gone out of her way to do as well). A husband living in such a way that he can be emulated by his children.., and his neighbour’s children (the latter is equally important.)

Sure, let’s end the violence, heal the wounds, burn the blood stained clothes, work things out and wipe away any memory of violence in the home. But let’s not kill the woman’s voice in the process. Let’s not take her back to the dark days when she had no say. Let’s pay attention to her resolve to be considered not just as a wife, but as a partner in marriage. Not just a partner with duties and responsibilities, but also one with very clear and reasonable expectations of her husband. Expectations that should not be dismissed as the whims of a nagging wife.

..the hope I have for women: that we can start to see ourselves-and encourage men to see us-as more than just the sum of our sexual parts: not as virgins or whores, as mothers, or girlfriends or wives, or as existing only in relation to men, but as people with independent desires, hopes and abilities. But I know that this can’t happen as long as culture continues to inundate us with gender-role messages that place everyone-men and women-in an unnatural hierarchical order that’s impossible to maintain without strife. For women to move forward, and for men to break free, we need to overcome the masculinity status quo-together.” - Jessica Valenti

Happy “V” Day

One of my readers asked me if I was planning to write a Valentine’s Day post. In all honesty I wasn’t. But then another reader asked me if I was going to, and I guess I had no choice. So I wrote an unoriginal poem and got pictures to go with it instead.

DISCLAIMER: I am no poet.

❥❥❥❥ Happy V Day ❥❥❥❥

To the wives “Happy Validation Day”

To the fiancées “Happy Verifying Day”

To the clandes “Happy Vale-night Day“

To the chips funga “Happy Variety Day”

To the prostitute “Happy Vixen Day”

To the horny single guy, “Happy Vaseline Day”

To the horny single equipped chic, “Happy Vibrator Day”

To the single chic who would have really liked to have a valentine, “Happy Void Day”

To the broke guy, “Happy Vamoose Day”

To the broke guy who’s trying really hard “Happy Viking Day”

To the rich old guy “Happy Viagra Day”

To the chic expecting gifts today but won’t get shit “Happy Vendetta Day”

To the innocent chic who’ll get her drink spiked “Happy Vodka Day”

To the chic who’ll stop at nothing to get a valentine “Happy Voodoo Day”

To the guy who’ll stop at nothing to get a valentine “Happy Vulture Day”

And finally, Happy Valentine’s Day!

*curtsies and walks off stage*

FINALLY!! The Perfect Loan for Your Wedding

The day I posted “Kindly Finance Your Stupid Wedding” I never ever imagined that some bank would actually adopt the idea of giving loans to finance weddings.

But 2 years later, here we are!

(Thank you CousCous for this revelation!)

So here’s the thing, if you have your little wedding committee going, and they don’t seem like very cheerful givers, worry no more. Here’s a bank that can get your financial “EMERGENCY” sorted.., just like that!

And if you’re planning a goat eating ceremony (without the goat – yeah we know it’s a fundraiser) spare the caprine animal a part in your false advertising. Neither should you use some funds from your wedding committee to buy handkerchiefs, which you later sell to your friends and family for as much as 5ooshs. Because really, aren’t you the same couple that complains about inflation? It bites us just as much.

So we who love you, humbly ask that you take this loan offer and run with it. Not only is it money guaranteed, it’s money that will go straight into your beautiful joint account in a whooping 3 days!

And look at those interest rates! The best I’ve seen lately. Business people are not even entitled to such awesome rates. Ah.., but of course, it’s a personal loan.., for personal affairs. And how else could you possibly describe a marriage if not as a personal matter?

What’s the security?

You are!

I’ve said this before – if you’re vowing before God and other witnesses that you’re going to be together for the rest of your lives, through sickness and health, poverty and wealth till death do you part, how will you not repay this loan? And just like taking a loan to start a business, you will do anything and everything to ensure that marriage works. Separation, divorce or taking time off will not be an option.

Should you go separate ways, the bank will send auctioneers to take away all the gifts we lovingly showered you with on your wedding day, together with all the stuff you bought during the happier years of your marriage.

Honestly, what more do you need to cement your marriage other than this wedding loan?

"Never mind. What matters is that we are still together, after so many years. Isn't that the point of marriage? To be together?"

Go on folks, take that loan!

Disclaimer: No I don’t work for Standard Chartered. But I’d sell this loan on their behalf and add one of my kidneys to the package, if only to save some miserable Kenyan from a wedding committee.

Sick and Worried

Courtesy: Daily Nation Tuesday January 24, 2012

 Look at me. Look at my wife. Now back to me. What do you see?

After the Sinai fire, one media house interviewed a man who had just lost his wife in the inferno. The grieving fellow expressed concern that he had lost the one person who took care of his hygiene. Certainly distraught, he wondered who would do the cleaning now that his wife was gone. Watching the grieving man on TV, I wondered if that was really his concern at the time. I mean, had he lost a wife or a broom?

Now the good book says that “he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22) As to what a wife finds, the good book is not very loud on that. Perhaps wives don’t need any confirmation as to the quality of the spouse they find, once they chance upon one. Nonetheless, we can rest assured that a wife is a good thing.

Besides, isn’t she the one that should worry more about you than you worry about yourself?

When you’re unwell and coughing out a mix of lint and sludge, she’s the one who’ll rush to the kitchen, get some warm water going on the stove and rush it back to your ripped throat. And before you fall asleep again, she’ll plead with you for the umpteenth time to go see a doctor. But being the busy, (*cough* stubborn) man you are, you say, it’s not that serious. “Tough men don’t go to hospital.”

Ah.., but when do mean really go to hospital? When they can’t walk?

Speaking of being crippled and how it all came about. The nights you spent out drinking yourself to an unroad-worthy state, filling your drooping belly with chunks of fatty red cow. How your wife stayed up late, waiting, listening, hoping, crying and then praying that you are alright. Those hours that drive a wife insane with anger and then fatigued with worry.

You never bothering to call or text. She never getting enough sleep to handle the children’s persistent questions on their father’s whereabouts when he doesn’t show up at the breakfast table. And she is forced to hide your shame and her pain, and instead carries your pride of fatherhood on her face, as she sends the kids off to church.

Her phone rings.

“Mama baby, I had an accident. I’m at Nairobi Hospital”

“What? How? I’m on my way.”

Sick and worried, she rushes to be by your side. You narrate the story of an accident you were involved in, but were too drunk on pride, power and alcohol to witness.

“I just found myself here when I woke up.”

She hopes you’ll still be able to walk. That you’ll be back on your feet soon. That you’ll be back to your old self. just not drinking as much. But it will take a lot of prayer to ensure you come home early and sober.

Then again, you’re a teetollar. A scholar. A professor. A businessman. A workaholic. You’re busy providing for your family. Too  busy to spend time with them. You’re locked in the study. You work overtime. You’re in a meeting, can’t talk. You’re chasing paper, to make sure your family has the best. Monday to 365th day. Too busy to talk about what you do or how you do it. Besides, the wife wouldn’t understand how your business works. She’s to shallow.

Then one day, the cops come knocking, and the banks are calling and the auctioneers are carrying everything out of the house. Sick and worried, she salvages what she can, rounds up the children and sits at a corner to watch “the best” go to someone else.

Sometimes I wonder, if the tables were turned and we were all equal in God’s eyes, would husbands be sick and worried about the things wives get sick and worried about? Would a husband stay up late, waiting patiently for his wife to come home from a drink with friends, or would he be angry instead?

Would he stomach a text message about a meeting at 2am “Can’t talk.”

Would he care for her when she’s on a wheelchair, until she was able to walk again, knowing very well she was drunk when she rammed into the other car? Would he get an ulcer waiting for his wife to come home from prison, or would he go right ahead and marry someone else?

Perhaps wives were designed to be sick and worried. And how can that not be a good thing?

High Maintenance Ego

E-go: the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing..,

Recently one of my father’s tenants angrily asked my mom, “how the hell did you marry that man you call your husband?”

Said tenant had had an altercation with papa dearest who had refused to refund her deposit claiming that the house she was planning to vacate had “several repairs” whose cost would amount to the value of the deposit she was demanding.

My mom couldn’t look into the matter because dad has been clear over the years. “His estate, his tenants. If you want to look into any tenant complaints, find your own estate and your own tenants.” In short, mind your own business. So mom could not do much but apologize on behalf of her loving husband and take the barrage of complaints and insults which she wouldn’t bother to report.

It’s not a story that took me by surprise. Besides, if you’ve directly dealt with landlords, you’ve probably had such an experience. I don’t mean to defend my dad, not at all. But I know better than to get in his way.

From a very young age, I learned to study human beings keenly before passing judgement about their character. Yes, I actually give people a chance to prove themselves. That saves me a lot trouble in the future and gives me sufficient time to walk away – rather than run for the hills when it’s too late.

When I can’t ignore people that aggravate me, I quickly establish a way of working with them during the few hours of the day that we must interact, for the task at hand to be completed – all too glad of course, that I don’t have to spend the rest of my life with them.

In my experience, the most annoying individuals are very very insecure. They constantly need something and someone to validate their existence and fill that dark, empty hole in their lives. Something to silence the little voice that constantly tells them that they are not good enough. But most of all, someone who can say “You’re not just it. You’re everything.”

Which is why folks insist that you marry your best friend. And ya’ll know, friends are friends forever. And your friend wouldn’t put you down. Never. So you get yourself a BFFS (Best Friend Forever Spouse).  The one person in the world who will always understand where you’re coming from even when the rest of the world doesn’t.

Even God, after much observation discovered that “.., it is not good for a man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18

Looking at it from that perspective, I guess there’s no one better than a wife to massage a man’s ego. Lift his spirits. Remind him that he rules the roost, and by so doing, sits on top of the world. That he is A MAN. And from what I gathered from Wilbur Smith, men need constant reminding of their being, ( just like women need constant reassurance that they are still beautiful.)

It sounds like an easy, divine task commissioned by the Most High, but have you ever thought for a minute what it takes to be married to a man with a big ego?

I mean, what are your normal conversations like? When you ask for his take on something, what do you think he’d say? When you disagree, is your opinion worth two cents? Do you get heard? When you’ve had enough and want to walk away, would you ever hear the end of it? What about your friends and aquintances, do they associate you with your husband’s demeanor? Do they wonder (like my father’s tenant asked my mom) how you got married to that man?

And when you tell them that you get along just fine; that you saw something special in him, do they wonder if you have poor vision? Are they prone to think that the reason you get along so well is because, you have a lot in common? Would you have a problem with that?

Or is that what marriage is about, becoming one?

“I think I’m Big Meech, Larry Hoover..”

I’ve always wondered, what it takes to maintain a big ego? Is it a lot of work?

In the throws of passion, between the sheets and his hard place, what praises does one moan? Should you remain silent? No.., I don’t think silence would be taken kindly. You’ve got to at least say something. Something in reference to strength, superiority, ultimate manhood, satisfaction. Perhaps even, invincibility.

Yeah.., it matters.

Or not.

What does it really take to maintain a big ego?