Move over! Make way! Push somebody!
Unwrap that head dress and lay your kangas on the ground!
The hour cometh and so does the man, from the West of Africa, riding on an airliner.
Put on a fresh weave Kenyan women! For that rare opportunity to hear from the marriage messiah. As you bow down in worship, you might just get a chance to clean his feet with your fake hair and the sweat of your brow.
For public demand is a formidable force.
It doesn’t just get you reruns of your favorite soap on Citizen TV, it also makes Pastor Chris Ojigbani an annual feature.
And though his last prophecy of five men did not even give you a midget, it wasn’t his fault. You just didn’t believe as hard as you should have. But this time round, you’re willing to believe with all you’ve got.
Cleanse yourself woman! That the good pastor may find you absolved of all sin. Whether you went to a witch doctor or continue to have pre-marital sex, or you’ve been too much of a chips funga and a mpango wa kando. The messiah must find you ready – single and searching.
Oh ye of little esteem and much self pity! This is your day of salvation! All your single-hood suffering ends on the 17th. It won’t be long before the man of your dreams takes you under his roof and rides with you into your fast approaching sunset years.
From his pulpit in Nigeria, Pastor Ojigbani has seen your tears roll down your pillow as you lie in your cold bed. He’s heard your ceaseless nkts! And observed with concern, the big potato that forms in your throat every time one of your girlfriends introduces you to their fiance.
No woman, no cry!
Hurry you broken heart, tired heeled feet, cursed misconceptions and multi-coloured face to the marriage conference. Hope awaits you there. Find your purpose for living , because indeed, nothing can give you more happiness and a reason for living than a husband.
Ignore those women complaining on Classic 105. It’s true. They don’t know how to treat their husbands. If you were just given their men, you’d do better. He’d be faithful to you. He’d come home early. He’d make love to you like he’d play a Spanish Guitar.
Those bad women, they don’t know to treat a man. But you do. All that’s missing is the man. And Ojigbani will tell you how to get one coz you already know how to keep him.
For a more direct script of what I’m trying to say, kindly read here what my boy and fellow blogger wrote last year.
And if that still doesn’t help you, then only three things can: A rope, a cliff or a balcony.
Go figure.
Methinks for women……the latter [A rope, a cliff or a balcony] may be of much help than treating a man well….not that we men make it any easier…..! But I know that one can never come across simpler beings than men….all we need is soccer, cars, money and sex and not necessarily in that order. But women, lets just say that any man who claims to understand his woman is a lair…..can’t happen and won’t happen. Heck, even King Solomon in his wisdom was always baffled by women….. I’d go on and on and on….. but i rest.
Relationships are hard, marriages are disappointments and love is feeble. – Me.
hehe awesome piece as always, today iv decided to stop the silent stalk, i hope these ladies get their man.
what are these women looking for in marriage?don’t they interact with guys-platonic pals included-in their day to day?pray do tell why they’re waiting for a pastor to pray and have their husbands to fall like manna, ring in hand to marry them? So now watangoja hadi pastor arudi for the next lot of ‘husbands from heaven’?
OMG! When I read this post I laughed so hard mpaka my boss is still wondering if am really OK or I need a sick off
ati “he’s heard your ceaseless nkts! And observed with concern, the big potato that forms in your throat every time one of your girlfriends introduces you to their fiancé” Hilarious! But its sad that Kenyan women have to sink to that level just to get a man!
marriage is based on economics not love and affection…ladies get your own money and all that marriage crave will end
It is likely no surprise to you that God has wired women and men differently. We all recognize some of these differences, but others often hide in plain sight. Shaunti Feldhahn, a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, author and speaker recently wrote a fantastic book, For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men. In it, she recounts the surprising truths she learned about men after interviewing more than one thousand of them. Not long ago, I had the opportunity to interview Shaunti for our radio broadcast, HomeWord with Jim Burns. In our discussion, we spoke about ten things guys wish women knew about men.I think you’ll find these ten things fascinating! Even more, I believe that in understanding these issues, you’ll be equipped to lead your marriage to a better place!
Rest of the post below :
http://www.relationshipextra.com/2012/02/07/10-things-guys-wish-women-knew-about-men/
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This write-up about the Nigerian pastor on marriage could only have been written by a demented mind. Also the fact that you did not even know what the seminar is about simply shows your ignorance as the seminar has nothing to do with praying for husbands or marriages! The ladies and women that attended the seminars knew what they gained so your write up could only be good for those with demented minds as yours.
I appreciate your comment. I however wish you could have expounded on “what the seminar was about” as you seem to have an idea. If you are so certain about my alleged dementia, you must surely know what the seminar entailed. I’m sure my readers who may not have attended the event, wouldn’t mind you enlightening them.