Recently one of my father’s tenants angrily asked my mom, “how the hell did you marry that man you call your husband?”
Said tenant had had an altercation with papa dearest who had refused to refund her deposit claiming that the house she was planning to vacate had “several repairs” whose cost would amount to the value of the deposit she was demanding.
My mom couldn’t look into the matter because dad has been clear over the years. “His estate, his tenants. If you want to look into any tenant complaints, find your own estate and your own tenants.” In short, mind your own business. So mom could not do much but apologize on behalf of her loving husband and take the barrage of complaints and insults which she wouldn’t bother to report.
It’s not a story that took me by surprise. Besides, if you’ve directly dealt with landlords, you’ve probably had such an experience. I don’t mean to defend my dad, not at all. But I know better than to get in his way.
From a very young age, I learned to study human beings keenly before passing judgement about their character. Yes, I actually give people a chance to prove themselves. That saves me a lot trouble in the future and gives me sufficient time to walk away – rather than run for the hills when it’s too late.
When I can’t ignore people that aggravate me, I quickly establish a way of working with them during the few hours of the day that we must interact, for the task at hand to be completed – all too glad of course, that I don’t have to spend the rest of my life with them.
In my experience, the most annoying individuals are very very insecure. They constantly need something and someone to validate their existence and fill that dark, empty hole in their lives. Something to silence the little voice that constantly tells them that they are not good enough. But most of all, someone who can say “You’re not just it. You’re everything.”
Which is why folks insist that you marry your best friend. And ya’ll know, friends are friends forever. And your friend wouldn’t put you down. Never. So you get yourself a BFFS (Best Friend Forever Spouse). The one person in the world who will always understand where you’re coming from even when the rest of the world doesn’t.
Even God, after much observation discovered that “.., it is not good for a man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18
Looking at it from that perspective, I guess there’s no one better than a wife to massage a man’s ego. Lift his spirits. Remind him that he rules the roost, and by so doing, sits on top of the world. That he is A MAN. And from what I gathered from Wilbur Smith, men need constant reminding of their being, ( just like women need constant reassurance that they are still beautiful.)
It sounds like an easy, divine task commissioned by the Most High, but have you ever thought for a minute what it takes to be married to a man with a big ego?
I mean, what are your normal conversations like? When you ask for his take on something, what do you think he’d say? When you disagree, is your opinion worth two cents? Do you get heard? When you’ve had enough and want to walk away, would you ever hear the end of it? What about your friends and aquintances, do they associate you with your husband’s demeanor? Do they wonder (like my father’s tenant asked my mom) how you got married to that man?
And when you tell them that you get along just fine; that you saw something special in him, do they wonder if you have poor vision? Are they prone to think that the reason you get along so well is because, you have a lot in common? Would you have a problem with that?
Or is that what marriage is about, becoming one?
I’ve always wondered, what it takes to maintain a big ego? Is it a lot of work?
In the throws of passion, between the sheets and his hard place, what praises does one moan? Should you remain silent? No.., I don’t think silence would be taken kindly. You’ve got to at least say something. Something in reference to strength, superiority, ultimate manhood, satisfaction. Perhaps even, invincibility.
Yeah.., it matters.
What does it really take to maintain a big ego?