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Now.., if Ferdinand Waititu slept in his bed last night, and not in a police cell, there’s something wrong with our police force. Far as any blind person could hear,disHonourable Waitutu’s remarks yesterday should be deemed as incitement to ethnic hatred. If anyone should argue otherwise, then please explain why the public reacted as they did – targeting their perceived anger stupidity at the Maasai community living in Kayole.
Ezekiel Kemboi won our lovely country its first gold medal in the London 2012 Olympics. It was an ecstatic moment, not just for all Kenyans but for Kemboi himself. Certainly, no one foresaw the celebration that would follow Kemboi’s victory. Some have called it an embarrassing show of bromance.., which can be forgiven given that Kenyans were really praying to register their first gold medal at the games. Kemboi delivered.., not just the gold, but a show as well.
While we can’t show you how to dance like Kemboi, we can at least show you how to hug like only he can.
Among the things I’m passionate about is teaching. Having had a short stint in the profession as a college lecturer, I’m certain that, given a chance, as a “retirement” option, I will share some knowledge with a few students, and they will in turn educate me as well. It’s a two-way process. And a very fulfilling one.
Now, a close of friend of mine recently told me that he intends to find his son a place in a different high school.
As you are aware, the government has declared the next three days, national days of morning following the deaths of Hon. Saitoti and Hon. Ojode. It’s unfortunate that past the age of 18, very many Kenyans don’t know what to do with themselves when the government sets aside days of National Mourning. Most of us think it’s a public holiday. We actually hope it is a public holiday. So we can sleep, watch movies, go to Naivasha, get high, spend all our money and do anything else, BUT mourn.
I was pleased to hear the youth vote will be a key factor in determining who will lead this country
to hell again come the next general election. As a young person, I have never felt so WORTHY a citizen of this country. But even when this information came to light courtesy of some research firm (can someone please give me the stats?) I haven’t seen any RATIONAL effort by the current crop of aspiring politicians to court this youth vote. From a PERSONAL view (that’s MY opinion, not yours), everyone of our politicians seem to be getting it wrong. It’s evident in the public addresses, the TV ads and the body language. None of them seem to be speaking to ME.
I’ve been skimming through today’s dailies hoping to see at least one Op-Ed with that title up there. Sadly, none of the country’s opinion writers had the guts to beat you black and blue with the truth. But that’s what blogs are for. So I’ll spell it out for you loud and clear. YOU WILL DIE.
Something isn’t right when children in this country commit suicide because they performed poorly in the national exams or because they have been forced to repeat a class or several classes, owing to their poor performance. Which prompted me to tweet yesterday:-
I wake up on Monday morning, switch on my radio and proceed to shower. The news comes up and the the first thing I hear is: “Traffic Police to be Withdrawn From Round Abouts”
I was so much in shock, I had a near death experience.
didn’t attend any of the events with the PM or the VP. I can’t really remember what I was doing at the time, but I didn’t bother to sign up either. Call me unpatriotic or less concerned. I’ve been accused of calling other so. I’ll take it well. I promise.
I however kept myself updated following live tweets on my TL. And just like that Mindspeak meet-up with Museveni, I waited for the postmortem detailed blogposts. And yes, here they are. For what it’s worth, I think we should have some more. They’re quite entertaining and in a sense, therapeutic.
A letter from one Wanjiku, who you often assume is too shallow to understand the complexities of the constitution, but who you forget wasn’t too blind to read and understand it.
Dear Member of Parliament,
It is my little understanding that laws are what govern every creature in the universe. Whether it be the law of gravity, or the law of the jungle, religious law or customary law. Every creature, great or small operates within certain laws. It’s what maintains balance, peace and in human society, social order.
I thought the rapture would find me at the dentist’s, where I had been lying for so long, my ass would have got a cavity. For the part-filling procedure, my dentist had anesthetized my gum so much so that had Jesus bitch-slapped my left cheek I’d have asked him “is that all you got?” But my dentist wrapped it up pretty fast, like he didn’t want to miss the 6pm ascension, complete with his sparkling white coat. 6pm would sadly find me at a bar counter, sipping on my preferred wine, waiting for a friend, tweeting to the death of my phone battery.
One evening in 2006, I boarded a City Hoppa to take me home after a long day at work. A lady I had never met before sat next to me and immediately engaged me in a conversation about her new born baby girl. I thought she was a con trying to solicit some money from me, so I attempted to ignore her by responding to every of her comments with a shrug. But she went on and on, telling me how she wouldn’t want anything to happen to her daughter, especially sexual abuse.
Wives the world over have come to detest the other woman. The debut of the mistressmust have I’m certainly not the first to delve into the subject of #KenyaFeb28. The lovely 3CB, who’s also a writer on DR, touched on the subject on her blog. Another blogger Kachwanyaeulogized the event weeks before its perceived death. Let me also clarify that though I am in support of #KenyaFeb28, I do not speak on behalf of the organizers. I just happen to a be a blogger and tweep (@Nittzsah) who doesn’t mind singing the National Anthem, for the whole world to see and for some politician to get into their thick skull that Kenyans are capable of uniting for a common cause, despite their tribal differences
Wives the world over have come to detest the other woman. The debut of the mistressmust have shocked the wife straight out of her headscarf, and for a while, she forgot about her other competitor – the prostitute. See, this mistress is something else all together. She’s beautiful, intelligent, adventurous, almost faithful (compared to the prostitute), almost childless (compared to the wife) and less demanding (when compared to themother in-law). Who did I leave out?
I moved out of my folks digz five years ago. It was right after my graduation from Uni and I had just got a job that would pay me matchsticks for writing stuff about people#Journalism. I rented an SQ somewhere and slept on the floor for a while before I made enough money to buy a bed.
Sometime last year, someone had the regrettable idea of inviting me to a Bridal Shower -my first since a midwife slapped my little brown ass. Of course now it’s grown bigger…, and from the looks of things…, darker .., ok.., mutation story for another day.
For those that might recall, the first topic in Form 1 Home Science is “Good Grooming.” So it was that our teacher walked into the class room one hot afternoon and asked “What is Good Grooming?” My hand shot up in the air, eager to make a statement that I was the brightest kid that side of the bunduz. Because I was seated at the front, a shortsighted Mrs. Karimi had no choice but to pick my hand to which I answered “It is the art of choosing a good husband.”
I thought I had seen everything the night I found my dad with another woman.
I had spent my day at the spa, sleeping through my massage, mani-pedi and a much desired reflexology. By the time I left Taiyana, every part of my body breathed and all my senses were alive. Yet whenever I reflect on that incident, I wish I had been blind that night. To be honest, I didn’t want to go to the club. I had a bad flu which I had taken to the spa hoping to get more treatment than what the antibiotics were doing for to me.
Recently, a fellow DR blogger posted a blog regarding the invention of a new controversial product called the Anti-Rape Female Condom. Our lovely readers in turn responded, giving various perspectives of the object – its very existence and its efficacy in controlling rape. Of the many comments, some written in humour and others in indifference, one captured my attention:
And when exactly do we introduce our daughters to this concept…?
Beyond the political bullshit of the day, something much bigger bugs me – our Socialization.
- Man that kid eats a lot!
- I wonder what her parents feed her
- That must be the laziest kid alive!
- I wouldn’t like my kid to look like that
- Why are kids so big nowadays?
The Soapbox is finally proving educative thanks to the Uungwana Initiative Campaign. I applaud the people behind this effort. It is truly a step in the right direction and I believe if we continue producing stuff like this, we might finally get rid of the Wedding Show.
This post is dedicated to Kenyan Christians, especially those who continue to make a reasonable living out of their fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, by praying for them and rendering other ‘Godly’ services that would otherwise be considered free.
It is also dedicated to the Christians who have put all their faith and trust in their church leaders, never questioning their cheerleader’s actions and faithfully following their teachings like blind sheep (by Jove! Could that be where the word ‘flock’ comes from?)
So “the church” is against the proposed constitution with religious leaders rallying masses to reject the same. While I am up to date with all “the church’s” campaigns (the good, bad and ugly), I am quite angered by a number of things:
- I worship (not belong to or subscribe to) a certain “church,” by virtue of my relationship with God and will proudly vote YES in support of the proposed constitutions. Question is do I stop being a part of “the church” because “the church” is against the new document?
My inbox is full with text messages of friends and family asking me to join their wedding committees. I even got one from my ex. (Jesus!). I’m not quite sure what happens in other countries, but in Kenya, when someone asks you to be part of their wedding committee, it is never to play an advisory role. Were your siblings and friends just honest enough, they’d probably say, “Hey! I’m demanding Ksh.800,000 from you to make my chic happy for one day.”
So 13 stupid men died and several others lost their eye-sight last week after consuming some brew whose ingredients may be found in a nuclear bomb. I don’t feel jack shit! And even if that number would have hit a million, I wouldn’t care either. Had the government called it a national crisis and declared a national day of mourning, I would have given them the finger and taken the first flight to Poland to mourn a president I didn’t know.
Dear Management of backstreet strip clubs located along Kirinyaga and River Road.
I hope this finds you in the nick of time, just before another note is slipped into the knickers of one of your female employees coming down a pole.
True Love is dead.
First the concept then the magazine. The term they’re using is ‘folded up’, which makes no difference anyway since dog ears look bad even on a glossy magazine.
The Arunga/Hellon story just won’t go away courtesy of our bold, authoritative i-know-what-you-did-last-summer media and of course, yours truly. So we keep talking about it, in the elevator, on the jav, and over coffee in Java. Yet, we still have questions : Why is she doing this? Does she have a mental disorder? How could she sue her parents? What is that cult church all about? As usual, I have no answers either. But I can draw parallels; learned how to in math class, somewhere along my formal education. But I digress.
There’s currently so much clap trap about exam cheating, you would think it was another Bernie Madoff ponzi scheme.
Okay, so some Uni chic was jailed for 12months for impersonating a candidate, but that doesn’t raise the terrorism threat level to hell red, does it? Now, I’m not going to get into the jurassic subject of why students cheat. If you went to school, sat an exam cheated or saw a classmate cheat, then there’s no reason whatsoever to solve the mystery as to why someone would commit such a ‘heinous’ crime.
I am always puzzled by people that constantly read motivational books. Personally, I have always regarded this eager readership somewhere between drug addicts and religious fanatics. On the one side is a junkie who cannot live without all Robert Kiyosaki’s bestsellers and on the other, a fanatic who subscribes to prosperity like a religion – (“Hi, I’m Bob and I’m a reader, who’s not yet rich”.., “Hi, Bob!!”).